A Life of Regret…
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In his Pensées Blaise Pascal, the 17th century French mathematician and philosopher wrote, “Everyone seeks happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end…”
John the Gospel writer tells us of a woman at a well in Samaria two thousand years ago who would have agreed. Like us, she longed for happiness, but it had eluded her. Five failed marriages testified to that.
Thinking that love, sex and marriage would give her life meaning and happiness, she thought that each new man would be the answer. But each time she made the same mistake. Her life was a mess. Lonely and insecure, dissatisfied and empty, she was having to draw water from the well by herself at the heat of the day.
But there came a time when her life was transformed through an unexpected conversation with a Jewish man. Ignoring social, cultural and political taboos, Jesus made a simple request for water from the well. He didn’t talk about her life or matters of faith – at least to begin with. Rather he spoke then, as he speaks to us today, with concern and respect.
However, it wasn’t long before he took the conversation to another level by speaking to her about living water. This provided a natural opportunity for her to open up about her hopes.
It happened this way. Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but those who drink of the water that I will give them will never be thirsty. The water that I will give will become in them a spring of water gushing up to eternal life” (John 4:12-14).
On a really hot day a glass of crystal clear, cold water is so refreshing. Jesus was offering water of a very different nature – not the reinvigorating physical water we enjoy, but water of such vitality that satisfies our deep inner spiritual thirst. He was saying he is the answer to the regrets and to the emptiness that gnaws at our souls. His words point to the reality that we are much more than the sum of our parts: we have souls – a spiritual dimension to our lives that needs to be nourished. Life with Jesus can be a cascade of fulfillment and joy.
The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I may never be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water” (John 4: 15). There’s a wistfulness in her words. It’s as if she was saying, ‘It would be great if you could do it, stranger. If only you could free me from this life of loneliness and regret’.
Her response opened a door of opportunity for Jesus to talk about her life. Most of us aren’t willing to be honest about how we’re really doing and the woman that day was no exception. We pretend we’re doing well but the reality is that we often have a sense of hopelessness about life that we won’t admit to. So, we endeavor to offset our sense of emptiness by filling our social calendar, making money, being a success, pursuing sexual adventure. But it never works.
No matter how successful we are or how intense the emotional experiences we might have, nothing can be a substitute for the relationship with God for which we are made. But if we’re going to find Jesus’s answer to our longing for happiness, we first have to admit our need.
Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come back.” The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband. What you have said is true!” The woman said to him, “Sir, I see that you are a prophet…” (4:16-19)
Suddenly the woman realized that the man with whom she was speaking was nothing less than a prophet who was aware of her life and lifestyle. And deep down, she knew that her selfish, self-centered, indulgent life was going nowhere. She was also aware that Jesus was challenging her to sort out her relationship with God. The big question was where to do this – the temple in Jerusalem, or in Samaria?
Jesus’s response is unexpected: “You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father seeks such as these to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth” (4:22-24).
He isn’t saying that it doesn’t matter what you believe so long as you’re sincere. Spirit and truth are not just synonyms for sincerity. When Jesus speaks of truth, he is talking about the inner reality of God’s being which becomes visible to us through him, Jesus.
True worship involves relating to Jesus – who he is and what he has done for us. Later he says, “I am the way and the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6).
The woman responded, “I know that Messiah is coming” (who is called Christ). “When he comes, he will proclaim all things to us”. Jesus’s response is breath-taking, “I am he, the one who is speaking to you” – literally, ‘I who am speaking to you, I am’ (4:26).
In the lead up to the exodus from Egypt, God had revealed his name to Moses in Exodus, chapter 3: “I am that I am that is my name”. Jesus was not just claiming to be the Messiah but to be one with God.
The water that Jesus promised the woman that day would bring her into a deep, satisfying and eternal friendship with God. Four centuries later, Augustine, Bishop of North Africa wrote, ‘Our souls are restless until they find their rest in thee’.
The eternal life that Jesus talks about, the water that will truly satisfy us, isn’t found in some new sexual experience or the acquisition of the latest phone. Indeed, because we were made first and foremost for relationship with God, the answer to our cry for happiness isn’t even a new religious experience. It involves a personal relationship with Jesus. Jesus is God in the flesh. He gives us life by giving us himself.
Just look at what the woman did: Leaving her water jar… John records (4:28). The symbol of her emptiness now lay discarded at Jesus’s feet.
She had found the living water, for she had found someone who knew her and yet had compassion for her, someone who pointed to the existence of a transcendent, caring God. Things would never be the same again.
“Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did” she said to people in her village. “Can this be the Christ?” (4:29). John records that many Samaritans responded by coming and listening to Jesus teach. And many believed him to be the Savior of the world (4:42).
There are tens of thousands of people with regrets and empty lives like this woman. Many are dismissive of finding hope in churches because they feel betrayed: God’s Word is not faithfully taught with compassion. How important it is we turn afresh to the real Jesus story and learn of the compassion and care he showed towards women and to everyone.
Prayer: Almighty God, we confess that we have no power of ourselves to help ourselves: open our eyes to know that you not only exist but that in your great love you care for us. We ask this in and through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.
© John G. Mason