{"id":3542,"date":"2018-05-02T06:00:43","date_gmt":"2018-05-02T10:00:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/anglicanconnection.com\/?p=3542"},"modified":"2018-05-02T17:51:24","modified_gmt":"2018-05-02T21:51:24","slug":"wives-and-husbands","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/anglicanconnection.com\/wives-and-husbands\/","title":{"rendered":"Wives and Husbands . . ."},"content":{"rendered":"

People generally know that a life-long marriage is good; but everyone agrees that marriage takes commitment and work. Writing in the London Times on July 18, 2012, Janice Turner commented:\u00a0Marriage is gruelingly hard, astonishing, a feat of endurance.<\/em><\/p>\n

So what advice does the New Testament offer on the subject of love and marriage? It\u2019s worth exploring words that today are simply dismissed. In Colossians 3:18-19 Paul the Apostle writes:\u00a0Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. Husbands love your wives and do not treat them harshly.<\/em><\/p>\n

In too many cultures women have been exploited and treated as chattels \u2013 especially by their husbands. In contrast, a striking feature about Jesus of Nazareth is that he treated women with courtesy and respect.<\/p>\n

Furthermore, we can note that Paul himself wrote that there is no division between men and women \u2013 both are equal before God. In Galatians\u00a03:28<\/span>\u00a0he writes:\u00a0There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.<\/em>\u00a0Consistently\u00a0the Bible affirms the\u00a0equality<\/em>\u00a0and\u00a0dignity<\/em>\u00a0of womanhood alongside men.<\/p>\n

The qualifying words to wives,\u00a0as is fitting in the Lord,<\/em>\u00a0point to a deeper truth about the marriage relationship that is found in the nature of\u00a0God who is one, yet three persons<\/strong>. Furthermore, the three persons of the Trinity are identical in being: each of the three is wholly and fully God. No one person of the Trinity has a higher or lesser status than the others.<\/p>\n

That said, each of the three is different from the other. For example, God the Son chose to draw into himself human nature \u2013 something that is not true for God the Father or God the Holy Spirit. Furthermore there is an order of movement (Greek:\u00a0taxis<\/em>) between the three Persons. This is not about rank or hierarchy, but about the way they operate with respect to one another. The Father sends the Son; the Son does not send the Father. Furthermore, the Son\u2019s actions are voluntary: he delights in doing the Father\u2019s will. This doesn\u2019t mean that there is no conversation before a decision is made. The way Genesis\u00a01:26<\/span>\u00a0speaks of the creation of men and women,\u00a0\u201cLet us make humankind in our image\u2026\u201d<\/em>\u00a0points to a pre-cosmic conversation.<\/p>\n

A clearer understanding of the Trinity helps us to appreciate the richness of Paul\u2019s words about the \u2018order\u2019 of a marriage relationship. Indeed we begin to see how tightly wrought are Paul\u2019s words to wives and husbands, and to husbands and wives in Colossians\u00a03:18<\/span>\u00a0and 19. The two commands must be taken together.<\/p>\n

He is therefore not saying that wives are to submit to abuse or be marital doormats \u2013 people who take what is handed out to them and who speak only when spoken to. He is not saying that wives are to be weak or to see themselves as inferior. Jesus was not weak when he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane:\u00a0\u201cFather,\u2026 not my will, but yours be done\u201d<\/em>\u00a0(Luke\u00a022:42<\/span>). In contemporary English,\u00a0deference<\/em>\u00a0captures the essence of Paul\u2019s,\u00a0submit<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Yes, this is counter to our culture\u2019s thinking and practice. But notice that Paul\u2019s tougher word is to husbands:\u00a0Husbands love your wives and do not treat them harshly.<\/em><\/p>\n

Having enjoined wives to show deference to their husbands, Paul does not say, \u2018and men, you rule\u2019. Husbands are not told to control their wives let alone exercise dominion over them. They are told to love. And here again, our Western world has been led astray.<\/p>\n

Our one English word\u00a0love<\/em>\u00a0is used to translate four Greek words \u2013 one of them being\u00a0eros<\/em>, from which\u00a0we get our word \u2018erotic\u2019. It is a word associated with intense emotional feeling. Yet neither Paul nor the New Testament uses this word to speak of marriage. Rather, we find a very different word \u2014\u00a0agape<\/em>. There are no rapturous, mystical experiences associated with it. It is the same word the New Testament uses to speak of God\u2019s costly sacrificial love for us.<\/p>\n

Eros<\/em>\u00a0is a word of self-gratification \u2013 a demanding, craving love, a love that demands a lover.\u00a0Agape<\/em>\u00a0is a word of self-forgetfulness. It is a generous, altruistic sacrificial love, more interested in the welfare of the one who is loved.\u00a0Eros<\/em>\u00a0wants to take.\u00a0Agape<\/em>\u00a0wants to serve.<\/p>\n

When Paul speaks of a husband\u2019s love in Colossians\u00a03:19<\/span>, he is writing of a love that is committed to serving the very best interests of the loved one. This doesn\u2019t mean he\u2019s called on to serve his wife\u2019s selfish whims but rather her deepest needs.<\/p>\n

When we have a better understanding of God our lives and relationships are enriched. How much are we dependent on God\u2019s written self-revelation for our better appreciation of him and his ways. And, fallen human beings that we are, how much we need to ask for his grace of forgiveness and strength joyfully to follow his commands.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

People generally know that a life-long marriage is good; but everyone agrees that marriage takes commitment and work. Writing in the London Times on July 18, 2012, Janice Turner commented:\u00a0Marriage is gruelingly hard, astonishing, a feat of endurance. So what advice does the New Testament offer on the subject of love and marriage? It\u2019s worth […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3543,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3542","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-word-on-wednesday"],"yoast_head":"\nWives and Husbands . . . - The Anglican Connection<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/anglicanconnection.com\/wives-and-husbands\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Wives and Husbands . . . - The Anglican Connection\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"People generally know that a life-long marriage is good; but everyone agrees that marriage takes commitment and work. 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